Bristow has written of the beast Tudamhott, still stalking the UK.
And it came to pass, that in the kingdom of Bristovia, the people were sorely oppressed by the great beast Tudamhott. Such was their fear of the beast, that they sweated, and laid low, and took a lot of cool showers - For 'twas well known that Tudamhott could be driven away by water.
However, Tudamhott came to the castle, the king saw that showers and lying low were not enough, and he declared a time of tourneytoff. And all the makers of music and the tellers of tales were ordered silent and still, and all the bearers of lights were made to extinguish them, lest they attract the attention of the beast Tudamhott and cause him to stick around and be even more annoying than necessary.
Go read the rest, jolly good story! Wish it was mine. =:o}